Maeve Murran: Aura-Soma | Kinesiology | Reiki – Holistic treatments in Ireland

What is hidden under the surface?


Pink over turquoise

As a Holistic Therapist, I often see a lot of clients on a weekly basis, who are in trauma and pain. The work is truly rewarding but particularly challenging at times. Consequently you really need to protect yourself and ensure your own resources are constantly replenished. Last year, when I was feeling pretty low in energy, I made the conscious decision, following a lot of soul-searching and meditation, to surround myself with beauty at every level in my life. I believe this kind of ethos can really promote health and wellbeing, especially when there is so much negativity in the air

With that in mind, I made the decision to have my kitchen (the heart of our house and the place where we reside most when we are home) completely redecorated. Using my much loved and cherished Aura Soma Bottles for guidance (in particular Bottle 34 “Birth of Venus”), an interior design theme of pale turquoise/soft pink was decided upon.

When the work was complete, I was so thrilled with the results and spent many happy moments just wandering around the kitchen touching the newly painted work surfaces, admiring my gorgeous duck egg blue drapes, my warm comfortable mosaic like floor covering and luxuriating in my newly re-upholstered kitchen chairs.

Disaster struck a few weeks later when our heating system / boiler broke down. Much to my dismay and to the detriment of all my recent efforts to redecorate and refurbish, everything had to be turned upside down. A gaping ugly gash was drilled across the concrete floor of my beautiful kitchen (using a kanga hammer and drill). This necessitated the removal of my new floor covering and a mountain of fine white cement dust descended on everything. In the mayhem my paintwork was chipped, my beautiful shiny new brushed aluminium fridge was damaged and two big jagged tears appeared in the floor covering as a result of struggling to move the heavy kitchen equipment out of the way.

I was devastated! Why had I attracted this I asked myself? Despite trying desperately to reconcile in my head and heart, the havoc wreaked by the work and to tell myself it was not really that important, I collapsed onto my kitchen floor in a heap of tears and just couldn’t get myself out of the slump that ensued over the next few days.

For those of you who have really serious problems in your life like sick children, relationship breakups and financial worries – my trivial concerns about the damage to my lovely new kitchen probably seem truly insignificant. But for me, at the time, there was such a sense of violation. This room, into which I had poured all my creativity and love, felt as if it had been destroyed and would never feel the same again to me.

So what was my lesson I hear you ask? Why had I been given this impulse to create all this beauty in my life – only to have it decimated within a few weeks? So I decided to meditate and ask for inspiration. Unfortunately nothing was immediately forthcoming!

In the meantime, with a heavy heart, I set about cleaning up the mess. It was a big job, but I needed my kitchen to be functional – so every item/worktop had to be scrubbed clean of cement dust, paintwork restored, drapes vacuumed and the floor covering repaired (in as much as was possible) and put back down once the cement had dried out.

The concrete floor now had a rough ugly gash running across it to my boiler. I could still feel it very definitively under my feet when moving around. Although my kitchen was now beginning to look normal again, it was a constant reminder of the mess and the scars hidden beneath the surface. I still had this niggling feeling of dissatisfaction and was finding it hard to let go of all the upset. Would I ever feel the same about my beautiful kitchen again?

Then something shifted and miraculously in the intervening days, immersed in the cleaning, repainting and restoration work, my Spirits began to lift again. A new consciousness was dawning on me. In accepting the damage, in coming to terms with the scarring, in making reparation, I had come out of the slump and I was beginning, once more, to enjoy being in this light filled duck egg blue and pink room.

So what is the moral of my tale you ask? I think somewhere inside all of us are old scars which we keep deeply buried as we feel they are too traumatic or ugly to allow into the light. Sometimes we are not even conscious of these scars or old hurts and they lie hidden or dormant until sickness or dis-ease brings them to the surface.

There is a part of us that feels we can never truly be the same because of them and despite all our efforts to be rid of them – they remain as integral a part of us as the very breath we breathe second by second. They leave us feeling bitter, jaded, disappointed and totally dissatisfied with our lives. Ironically, if we choose to embrace these same wounds and learn from them, they can become the finely honed metal that makes a great sword, the witnesses of all we have experienced in our life, our greatest teachers and ultimately testimony to our greatest achievements. Yet we are given very little education or insight about how to think like this and consequently spend many years locked into grief, regret and trauma.

So what’s the answer you ask? I think we just have to keep marching forward looking only to the future and sending a trail of love and gratitude to the past. We must then set about doing all we can to restore ourselves to our former glory/perfection – by embracing/accepting with grace and love the scars/wounds we have gathered along the way. It is only our perception that we no longer are as beautiful or talented or loving as we used to be. It is only our perception that we are failures at our marriage, our careers, at rearing our children. We are our own worst judge and jury!

So to practise what I preach, I have decided to send thanks to my boiler for breaking down, to the workmen and the kanga hammer/drill that tore up my kitchen floor, to the dust and the dirt and the trauma. All of it taught me a very valuable lesson about healing and embracing my wounds. When I now walk across the humpy bit in the middle of my kitchen floor, I see it as a wound of great valour. Its presence enriches the room and gives it a character it never possessed before.

With Love and Sparkling Light to guide you on your path

Comments on: "What is hidden under the surface?" (1)

  1. What a lovely meaningful story Maeve. Reading this today has shifted something in my own perspective on a present situation. I am grateful that you shared this. Many many thanks.

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